im quiet, doesnt mean im "quiet"

i smile , doesnt mean its okay or wheter its not hurting me

i laugh , doesnt mean its funny.

i dont see doesnt mean, i dont know.

i dont talk , doesnt mean, im okay.

i dont know, doesnt mean i'm fool.

i cry, doesnt mean i hate you.

i walk away, doesnt mean i let it.

i keep silent doesnt mean its nothing (happened)

i cant do that, doesnt mean im not trying.

im preteding, doesnt mean im lying.

so why am i keep pretending all this crap?

because im not such a other girl that easily to show what she thinks, feels, or watev.

and easily to cry when she wants.

and easily to show what she truly feels.

and easily to share all.

and easily to show her careness to the one she cares of.

and easily to say what she wants to.

and easily to hate someone who already, hurt her emotionally or physically.

im not that easy.

sometimes i love to be quiet.and i love when someone is not asking me, what does make me so quiet.

because you know what? sometimes, i do. and i dont have reason to tell why.

because i love the moment when im alone with my scramble rumble thoughts

until someone catches up my attention.

and one thing, i dont ask all of you, to understand me.

because i know, no one can, or even want.

and i know, everyone's different. and complicated in our own way.

so, why do you have to understand me when i cant even understand you, them, those, world, reality.

thats why im not asking or sigh for it.

ah, what am i talking about? i hate this part when i just write straight from my mind without sorting it before.

because sometimes it sounds so unimportant , though.

?

i am not princess.

i dont sleep for such a looong time.
i dont like apple.
i am not diligent enough, quite smart enough.

i dont have a beautifull to die for face.
i dont live at kingdom.

i dont kiss a grossy frog.
i couldnt feel any small pea behind my bed.

i dont have a king as my father.
i dont have any talent to pull you.

i dont wear a delicate pair of glass slippers.
i dont know how to ride a horse.

i dont have Capullet as my last name.

i dont do magic!

but one thing, i know.
i am tough.

can i be a princess now?

why? why i want to be a princess?

no. not because i want such a wealthy,
or smart or pretty or what.

it simply just because ,
i want you as my happy ending.

is it too much?
yeah i guees.
cause back to basic, i am not princess.

but hey, i deserve my prince!!